Mission BINODC
by The Better Side
Summary: The Merry Men have an objective to accomplish and it's go time! Rated T for some potty mouths.


A/N: Just to let you know; It's a secret what they're doing until the end so don't be alarmed if your confused and don't CHEAT and look at ahead! ;P AND, you'll figure out what the title means as well if you read all the way through.

Hope you enjoy this little one shot!

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_**Mission BINODC**_

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"I've got visual. BINODC is in sight." Lester muttered into the air, his face a mask of concentration. He knew the guys could hear him from the transmitting bud he had in his ear and vice versa. He heard a beat of static and then a familiar voice floated back.

"Are you armed?"

Lester glanced down at the knife in his hand and nodded. "Roger."

"All clear?"

He peeked over the side of desk he was crouched behind to stare upwards. "Roger."

"How's 'hanky'?"

Lester dared another look at the object they had nicknamed 'hanky' and said, "It's good. _Full_ but good. I think it's time to go for it."

"Alright." Tank said gravelly. "Go in. Binkie and Bobby are watching your back. Be careful."

Lester nodded once more, breathed in deep and stood up slowly, his eyes narrowed and fierce. He had the weapon in one hand and the other hand was clenched. "Walk me through this, Bink."

"Cut the sides of 'hanky'." The man's voice echoed through the transmitter. "It'll give you more entryway. Be careful not to harm the BINODC." Lester did as told, slicing down the sides of the item. "Careful." Binkie urged, his voice tight with apprehension. Lester bit his lip, sweat beading at his forehead. Just a little bit more……

"Done." He breathed, stepping back. "Now what?"

"Dispose of it."

Santos closed his eyes and took a deep breath again. He gave himself a quick mental pep talk, opened them and wiggled his fingers. He carefully reached over, grabbed it by the edge and yanked it out from under. He sat in silence for a beat after that, waiting to hear cries of complaints from the BINODC and was heavily relieved when none came. He then deposited 'hanky' in the trash without so much as a gag. "Done."

"Did you sterilize it yet?"

Lester grabbed a wipe, swiped it across the underside softly and threw it away. The BINODC stayed stoic. "Done."

It was Bobby's turn to speak. "It's time for the hard part now." He informed. "It's time for step two. It's time for 'panky'."

Lester cursed. No, was it time for that already? He glanced over at the object labeled 'panky' by his fellow men and sighed.

"Grab it, Santos." Bobby instructed.

Lester swiftly took it off the shelf. "I've got it."

"You need to get it under the BINODC, fit it properly and strap it. Can you do that?"

Lester stared down at 'panky' and then at the BINODC. _Could_ he do this? "I'll try."

"Not _try_, soldier. You _will _do this!" Tank screamed, coming back. "It's now or never Santos, come on, do this shit. Make us proud."

Lester swallowed and nodded, his heart beat speeding up. He clenched his fist around 'panky', leaned forward and braced himself. With shaky hands, he slid it under the BINODC firmly. It did not move. "It's under."

"Strap it." Bobby told him.

Lester began to comply but then it happened. He saw it before it occurred. He saw the opening of the mouth, heard the yawn, saw the flickering of the eyelids. The BINODC was arising. "Guys," He squeaked into the transmitter. "We got a big problem here."

"What is it?" Tank barked.

"It's coming awake."

There was a collective gasp from all the men and Lester heard the sound vibrate into his ear. "Get out of there, Santos." Tank demanded anxiously. "Abort and get the fuck out of there right now!"

"But I can do this!" Lester shouted back, fear and courage coursing through his tone. "I can do this! We're too close to back down now!" He began reaching over to strap 'panky'.

"NO!" Tank roared angrily, slamming his fist against his hand. "NO! NO! Get out of there! It's over! We can't risk it!"

But Lester wasn't listening. His breath was coming shorter, his heart was beating faster, the air in the room felt like it was evaporating, his eyes were wide. _Just a little farther…just a little farther…_

The BINODC made a gurgling sound.

Fuck!

"_SANTOS_!"

_Just a little more……_

_Clip._

Bingo.

Lester sat back on his hunches, holding his breath. He knew it wasn't over yet. The BINODC could easily change up on them and vent its fury at their invasion. If it came fully awake, he knew he was a dead man. His ears wouldn't be able to take the God awful cries.

Luckily enough, it did not. With a large sigh of relief, Lester watched the BINODC snuggle back and close its eyes.

"Lester? Lester, you still there?" It was a nervous sounding Binkie in his ear now. "Lester, come in pal. Where are you?"

With a giant smirk, Lester stood up and turned around, shooting the men in the other room a thumbs up. "Mission accomplished." He stated coolly.

There was an uproar in Lester's ear as the Merry Men cheered. He could hear the shouts and screams of victory, the pounding of feet, the laughter of delight. They had done it. They had done the unthinkable.

They had changed the diaper of Stephanie and Ranger's daughter without waking her up.

"Mission _Baby in need of diaper change_," Lester started with a smile, pumping his fist into the air. "was a success."

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Haha. Hoped you liked! :) BTW: If you didn't take notice;

BINODC means= "Baby in Need of a diaper change."

And Hanky && Panky were the diapers ;P


End file.
